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A Requiem for Debris Oct. 19, 2024
The mattresses. They're so sad. I keep sharing this thought with people who scrunch up their brows. ... Read More
After Two Ferocious Storms, Making Peace with Florida Oct. 12, 2024
Driving across Florida in the middle of the night after a hurricane, that's one way to make peace wi... Read More
Can We Continue To Live on the Edge of Disaster? Oct. 05, 2024
Are you OK? How did you fare? Storm victims woke pelting impossible questions into the ether, te... Read More
A Transcript of Trying To Cancel Internet Sep. 21, 2024
The following is an only slightly modified account of a recent attempt to sever internet and cable ... Read More
Cats Are Having a Redemption Arc Sep. 14, 2024
Imagine being a cat right now. One minute, you're minding your own business for 12 hours in a closet... Read More
Water Will Heal Me Sep. 07, 2024
I stood inside 7-Eleven on my way to the office, staring dead-eyed at the drink case and reaching fo... Read More
A Prayer for a New School Year Aug. 17, 2024
New school year, work your magic. Bring on the perfectly plaited braids and buns topped with bows, t... Read More
Why Tim Walz Is a Florida Man Aug. 10, 2024
As a mere regular person, I don't know how political vetting works. I picture an episode of "Veep." ... Read More
Why the Olympics Are the Perfect Distraction Aug. 03, 2024
The word "dissociation" gets bandied about in these chaotic times, usually in context of watching fo... Read More
I Saw 'Twisters' in 4DX and I'm Still Shook Jul. 27, 2024
After hours battling Disney passholder traffic on a Florida highway, I hustled into the theater mome... Read More
Catching a Critter in the House or Interpretive Dance? Jul. 20, 2024
A-five-six-seven-eight. A homeowner cracks the front door to retrieve a package. The sodden summer a... Read More
Celebrities Who Could Convince Me To Suspend My Campaign Jul. 13, 2024
Imagine being George Clooney. No, really. Do this with me real quick. It will be more fun than whate... Read More
To Appreciate Home, Leave It for a While Jul. 06, 2024
I just returned from a 10-day family trip to Southern California. In some ways, it was three days to... Read More
How To Recover From That Horrific Presidential Debate Jun. 29, 2024
At one time, the recent presidential debate carried promise. There would be no hooting frat house au... Read More
Margaritaville Cruises and the Question of Legacy Jun. 22, 2024
I feel most insignificant gazing up at the stars or pondering what happens inside a super massive bl... Read More
How To Give Vacation Recommendations Jun. 15, 2024
School is out, the children's brains have begun to gleefully rot and summer vacations are upon us. A... Read More
Apologizing My Way Through Appendicitis Jun. 08, 2024
My absent hunger was the first sign something was wrong. Normally, even when I'm physically full, th... Read More
The Big Babies Are Afraid of Rainbow Bridges Now Jun. 01, 2024
June is upon us, which means it's time to prepare for summertime truths. Hurricane season looms, sci... Read More
Make Restaurant Food Ugly Again May. 25, 2024
Since there are no bad ideas in brainstorming, here are a few new restaurant concepts: THE BEIGE BOW... Read More
Scary Campfire Stories for Middle Age May. 11, 2024
Gather round, summer campers. Hey, Braden. Put that stick down. The marshmallows are for s'mores, no... Read More
