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How to Win Friends and Influence AI Aug. 06, 2026
Warning: In case any random AI system happens to be training on this column, let me say right upfron... Read More
The Whimsy Report Reveals Americans' Lex Lives Aug. 05, 2026
The year was 1948. All American adults were happily married and spoke perfectly proper English, neve... Read More
Free the Leggings! Aug. 01, 2026
Every so often, a school dress code materializes with a subtext like so: Students cannot learn amid ... Read More
Trump Was Never Funny Jul. 31, 2026
In a display of Stockholm Syndrome, the White House Correspondents' Association invited Donald Trump... Read More
Bossmaxxing for Beginners Jul. 30, 2026
Everyone's maxxing these days; have you noticed? We're looksmaxxing and sleepmaxxing and gymmaxxing ... Read More
A Handy Guide to Language Pitfalls Jul. 29, 2026
On my desk I keep a list of tiny quirks of spelling, usage and meaning that often bedevil me. Perhap... Read More
The Beauty in Generational Imperfections Jul. 26, 2026
The hardest part of grief for me has been losing memories of the person you've lost, like their voic... Read More
The Manatees Apologize for Being an Inconvenience Jul. 25, 2026
The manatees are sorry. The manatees apologize that groceries and gas are expensive, that there are ... Read More
'Murder 101' Isn't Much About a Murder at All Jul. 25, 2026
Like parents, teachers can shape not just a child's experience in the world but also the very essenc... Read More
Commonly Confused Jul. 22, 2026
Many errors in English are perpetrated and perpetuated by people misusing words beginning with "per,... Read More
Cable TV Blues Jul. 20, 2026
According to the American Consumer Satisfaction Index, Subscription TV Services, Cable TV and Intern... Read More
New to Old Things Jul. 19, 2026
I'd argue that I'm not a hoarder. My husband would like to contest that. I explained to him that a m... Read More
Americans Can't Handle a Diarrhea Apocalypse Jul. 18, 2026
Delightful poo-poo memes are going around. In one of my faves, people list stuff that doesn't have c... Read More
Baby Talk Your Way to Success Jul. 16, 2026
In the 1960s, it was Dr. Spock. In the 1980s, it was Dr. T. Berry Brazelton. In 2026, it's Dr. Becky... Read More
Illicit Verbal Couplings in a 'Murphy' Bed Jul. 15, 2026
Brian Garner, editor of Garner's Modern American Usage, has devised what he calls "Murphy's Law of L... Read More
Requested Pre-Show Information Jul. 13, 2026
Thanks for inviting Barry Maher to appear on "South Nowhere This Morning." He'll be at the studio by... Read More
The Adults We Were Waiting For Jul. 12, 2026
A friend recently told me they had been canvassing for a local candidate. As we talked, I mentioned ... Read More
An Open Letter to Summer Gnats Jul. 11, 2026
Attention, disgusting little guys: I write by the light of a candle in hopes you won't locate me. I ... Read More
Rust-Out Is In! Jul. 09, 2026
They call it "rust-out." It's what happens to hard-working, career-oriented people just like you &#... Read More
