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Finding Kinship in 'The Perils of Girlhood' Sep. 05, 2025
The worries we have as parents are tightly tethered to childhood experiences that shook us. Growing ... Read More
When You're a Parent, It's Always the First Day of School Aug. 23, 2025
The first day of school recently arrived at our house. I woke up early to get the kids ready in tim... Read More
Control: Remote and Very Remote Aug. 08, 2025
Warning: This column begins as slightly off-kilter, but it ends up flat-out weird. I think it's safe... Read More
Misdirection: When East is West and West is ... East Aug. 01, 2025
As Tom and I are getting on the turnpike, I get a call from our brother Steve, "You're going the wro... Read More
Use This Column as an Email to Your Senator Jul. 26, 2025
While we're distracted by Coldplay concert kiss cams, 20-year-olds in swimsuits arguing on "Love Isl... Read More
Stepping Up to the Microphone Jul. 18, 2025
When I was working full time as a professional speaker and make-believe celebrity, people would ask ... Read More
Drinking Hemlock, Eating in the Shade and Following Dumb Rules Jul. 12, 2025
My son wants to eat his lunch in the shade. It's a reasonable request, sure, but he's at summer camp... Read More
And It Seemed Like Such a Good Idea Jul. 11, 2025
The envelope the charity's director received on Monday had no return address. The message inside ... Read More
Only Suckers Try to Make Magical Childhood Memories for Their Kids Jul. 05, 2025
I refuse to try to build any more precious childhood memories for my kids. I'm just giving them fuel... Read More
Pick Your Poison: Heat Stroke or Air Conditioning? Jun. 28, 2025
If you asked my dad the top three causes of illness worldwide, here's what he'd say: No. 3: Walking ... Read More
Losing Contact Jun. 27, 2025
My contact manager, Outlook, won't open. It doesn't care how often I click. It says it's loading. Bu... Read More
Dying With Bette Jun. 20, 2025
We've all heard about people who suffer for their art. Normally, that doesn't apply to me. As an ove... Read More
Around the World on a Bicycle -- in 1935! Jun. 13, 2025
Fred Birchmore and I are very different. Fred, for example, is dead. I, as of this writing at least,... Read More
Who Knows Where the Phones Go? Jun. 06, 2025
I reach for my phone. It's not in my pocket where it belongs. I'd had it out earlier over where I wa... Read More
Amazing Opportunities Just Keep on Coming May. 30, 2025
On X, the name for what's left of Twitter, I got a direct message from someone I'll call Hank Halsti... Read More
English and I -- or Maybe Me Apr. 18, 2025
I have no facility with languages. I'm incoherent in Latin, French, Spanish and, far too often, in E... Read More
History Calls -- Wants Money Apr. 11, 2025
I couldn't be more proud. Official word from the Republican Party might be delayed, but for the sake... Read More
Customer Disservice: No One Can Hear You Scream Apr. 04, 2025
The bill was for two unspecified injections weeks earlier. I remembered getting a free flu shot and ... Read More
We All Join the Inner Circle Mar. 28, 2025
Two days ago, I went out to get trash bags because I needed trash bags, a prescription because I nee... Read More
How I Drove Meghan Markle and Prince Harry out of Montecito Mar. 25, 2025
Recently, I did something despicable. Apparently. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were reportedly mov... Read More
