DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and will finish my associate of arts degree at a local junior college in early January. I'm really excited because this means I'll be able to have more time to conduct a job search for work that I might truly enjoy. Thus far, I've just been working at a local restaurant in order to pay my bills, books and tuition.

People tell me that I'm generally likable and have pretty good people skills. I'm often complimented for quickly becoming friends with a lot of people, even strangers. A friend recently told me that I should seek to find a job that matches up well with my personal skills, because work won't seem so difficult that way. Do you agree? If so, what type of job should I seek? — Finally Ready to Work Full Time, via email

READY TO WORK FULL TIME: Your letter didn't mention what concentration of study you opted for obtaining your associate of arts degree. However, you clearly outlined what you feel to be some of your best interpersonal skills.

Given that information, you might be a natural talent to work in a sales or marketing job, one in which you collaborate with others or can explain programs to current or potential new customers.

Other potential areas of interest to you might be publicity, human resources and even teaching. You may wish to consider teaching in a public education setting, but there are many other private business opportunities to teach various skills to others via a product demonstration, specialized knowledge and myriad other communication-based job functions that corporate companies are interested in filling with excellent candidates.

My final bit of advice would be to use your excellent interpersonal skills to immediately start networking and talking to as many different people as you possibly can both in terms of scouting out interesting job possibilities for you, as well as brainstorming potential career paths that might be suitable and interesting for you.

MY NEW GUY RUNS HOT AND ICY, ICY COLD

DR. WALLACE: I recently met a new guy, and the best way I can describe him is that he runs hot and cold. By hot and cold, I mean that there are times when his comments seemed to indicate that I'm the most important person in the world to him, but at other times, he will barely acknowledge me or will go silent and not respond to my text or phone calls for hours or days.

When he does hang around with me, particularly at school, he makes me look good in front of my other friends because he'll seemingly act like he's concerned with my every moment, wish and desire. More than once, I've had one of my girlfriends come up to me later and make a comment about how great my new boyfriend is, and how much he dotes on me and cares about me.

But unfortunately for me, I know the true reality that they don't understand. One time after I couldn't reach him for three days, he finally picked up his phone and almost barked at me and asked me why I was "tracking him down." He said this in a really harsh tone of voice, and when I told him I was sorry, his reply was simply "whatever," and then he hung up the phone without saying another word!

What can I do in this situation? I'm getting tired of his hot and cold act, and when he's cold, I feel beyond disrespected. But all my girlfriends think I have the hottest, best and most engaging boyfriend they've ever seen. — Stuck Between Hot and Cold, via email

STUCK BETWEEN HOT AND COLD: The good news for me in reading your letter is that I can tell that you fully understand the situation and that you have no confusion about what he is actually doing. He's presenting you simultaneously with reality and illusion.

Unfortunately, the illusion is what he's showing your girlfriends who see him with you at school. And sadly, the reality is how he acts toward you in one-on-one scenarios between the two of you, out of the sight and earshot of others.

Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you must choose between a false illusion in a difficult-to-accept reality, you must face the situation head-on. In your case here, you need to choose to stand up for yourself rather than worrying about the false illusion your friends are seeing. I recommend taking the bold step of telling him that you're going to opt out of the relationship the very next time he disrespects you in the manner you've outlined.

When this happens, which likely will be soon, simply go to your girlfriends and preemptively tell them that you broke things off with him because he was disrespecting you during your private conversations. Tell them that you don't wish to go into details but that he was not consistently what they thought he was. True friends will understand this and support you, no matter how much you don't wish to get into details about it.

Your conundrum will be solved, and you'll definitely feel better about yourself once you're free of his manipulative behavior.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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