DR. WALLACE: I'm a freshman in college, and I met the girl of my dreams about four months ago. We've been dating ever since, and things are going along really well.

However, she recently told me that one of her big passions in life is dancing, and she wants to get me to take her out to all types of dance clubs: line dancing, ballroom dancing, basically any kind of dance you can think of! The problem is, I'm a guy who has the proverbial "two left feet." Not only am I an extremely inexperienced dancer, I'm beyond self-conscious about how I look dancing in public, so I never do it, ever.

What can I do about this? If I keep refusing her offers, I'm afraid that at some point I'll allow her to build animosity over my unwillingness to participate in something she enjoys so much. — I'm Beyond 'Dance Challenged,' via email

I'M BEYOND 'DANCE CHALLENGED': I agree with your assessment here that if you don't step up and at least give some style of dancing a reasonable try, she's likely to build up frustration. Eventually, she may experience remorse with the fact that she can't enjoy her favorite activity with you.

I suggest that you be direct, open and honest with her. Explain the reasons for your hesitation, and solicit her assistance and guidance. Perhaps you can ask her to enroll the two of you in a few dance classes where you can practice together in a comfortable, nonjudgmental environment. Consider taking classes in three or four different dance styles, as one or two of them should be easier for you to succeed with than the others.

If you are able to do this, with time, practice and effort, you should be able to raise your dancing game to at least a moderate level. And at that point, you'll know that you're not embarrassing yourself, and you can focus entirely on how much she enjoys her favorite activity — and how good she looks while dancing with you!

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE GUYS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's a junior in high school, and I wanted to write to you as kind of a public service announcement! I enjoy dating and getting to know various guys and their personalities so that I can eventually settle into a good relationship. Over the past year and a half, I've had two good relationships that lasted many months, though they eventually faded.

My PSA is for all guys out there to not be so slow, methodical and hesitant when it comes to asking a girl out on a date! I can't tell you how many times I've had guys express mild interest, engage me in conversation, look at me across a classroom or across the campus when we are in close proximity, yet it takes them weeks — months, in some cases — to get around to asking me out on a date. Had they stepped up much earlier, I would've accepted the offer to go out with them within the first several days of getting to know them a bit.

The way I look at it, dating is all about getting to know another person better in a one-on-one setting where both parties are comfortable and on their best behavior. In my opinion, asking a girl to go out on a date is not something that needs to be thought about for several weeks and months before "popping the question!"

My free, unsolicited advice to all teenage guys out there is to simply ask a girl you find interesting out on a date within the first week of getting to know her a bit. From there, you can know her better once you go out a time or two, and things will sort themselves out either way comfortably. That wasn't so hard, was it? — There's No Need to Delay, via email

THERE'S NO NEED TO DELAY: Wow, you certainly got your point across in a very direct and unambiguous way! Although not every guy interested in a particular girl is going to immediately develop the nerve and gravitas to simply ask her out within the first week or so, your words will certainly be noted and quite likely remembered well.

And any sincere encouragement to be a bit more relaxed and proactive when asking for a date is almost always helpful to those who are habitually hesitant. Thank you very much for your informal, life-experience-driven "public service announcement"!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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