Lenore Skenazy from Creators Syndicate

Everything I Needed To Know I Learned During the Summer for 05/29/2008

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Unofficially, it is now officially summer — that post-Memorial Day stretch of sunshine, sweat and sweetness so different from the rest of the year and so much more memorable. Everything I needed to know I learned during the summer. As did the folks below:

What a Real Care Package Is:

"I went to a camp where most kids' parents were divorced," recalls Mandy H ...

Updated: Thu May 29, 2008

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Slacking Hillary for 06/05/2008

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Legs.

A campaign needs them. A pantsuit hides them. Might Hillary Clinton be giving a very different speech Saturday if only she never packed that first fatal slacks-and-jacket ensemble?

In other words, if only Yves Saint Laurent hadn't come along and changed the way powerful women dress?

After all, until Saint Laurent, who died Sunday, sprang onto the fashion scene, the on ...

Updated: Thu Jun 05, 2008

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Avoiding the Promzilla Problem for 06/12/2008

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Dear High-School Girl:

Congratulations. It is prom season, and you are going to one. Have fun; don't drink; and please don't do the one other prom-night thing that can lead to a lifetime of misery:

Don't try to be a movie star.

Oh, I know you're going to anyway. You're going to devote yourself (and your mother) to finding the perfect dress, shoes, bag and bling, ...

Updated: Thu Jun 12, 2008

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Camp Is Too Cushy for 06/19/2008

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

"Hello, Muddah. Hello, Faddah. I just had a venti latte! Camp is very entertaining, and the spa is just so soothing when it's raining."

That could be the next letter you get from your kid at camp — provided he is not too busy studying broadcast journalism, French pastry making or the art of getting a pedicure.

"They're really becoming not camps, but resorts,&q ...

Updated: Thu Jun 19, 2008

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To Gnaw Meat Is To Love Meat for 06/26/2008

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

What is the secret boys learn from their scoutmasters right around puberty?

Don't think too hard, please. It's beef jerky.

"Most people are introduced to the snack by the time they're 11 or 12," said Jeff LeFever, director of marketing for Jack Link's dried meat snacks. "And if you haven't been introduced to it by that age, you won't be."

Most girls &mda ...

Updated: Thu Jun 26, 2008

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Kids in a Bunk, Parents in a Funk for 07/03/2008

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

The mom and dad were staggering up the street holding their daughter's camp gear between them — a duffel bag seemingly stuffed with Pavarotti.

"This is the small bag," the mom said through a gritted smile. They made their way through a throng of parents, all bidding goodbye to children off to sleep-away camp. Some of them were homesick already.

The parents, I mean. ...

Updated: Thu Jul 03, 2008

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Madonna to A-Rod: Like a Prayer? for 07/08/2008

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Here today, gone cabala. It happened to Madonna; it's happening to A-Rod; for a while, it even happened to Britney. You reach the pinnacle of fame, fortune and truly fabulous muscle tone, and what's left?

Judaism. OK, so it happens to be the most esoteric expression of Judaism since the goose-shaped chopped liver — a form many American Jews never even will encounter.

What do ...

Updated: Tue Jul 08, 2008

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42 Ways To Tell We're Tanking for 07/17/2008

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

For the average American man and woman — let's call them Freddie and Fannie — times are feeling a bit dicey. The housing market is in a swoon. The stock market is swooning right along. Consumer confidence? Lying there like a wet towel on the bathroom floor that nobody's picking up.

As troubling as things are, however, are we really in bad shape? Here's a handy-dandy way to fi ...

Updated: Thu Jul 17, 2008

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Send Me a Postcard, Not a Group E-mail for 07/24/2008

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

It's Christmas in July.

The bad part of Christmas, that is. The part when you get those Christmas letters from C-list friends all about their fantastic jobs, stunning new homes, and mind-blowing sex (if you read between the lines).

Except now, those letters are e-mails. And they're not about Christmas. They are all about your friends' vacations — e-mail blasts so chock-full ...

Updated: Thu Jul 24, 2008

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Mad About 'Mad Men' for 07/31/2008

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

"Mad Men." I want everything on that show, from the ashtrays to the wall hangings to the lead actor.

And I don't smoke. And I'm married.

I guess I could use a wall hanging.

Something about the show inspires lust, and it's not just the fact that everyone's sleeping with everyone else; they always do on cable. No, what's drawing viewers and 16 Emmy nominations so fa ...

Updated: Thu Jul 31, 2008

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Olympics for the Rest of Us for 08/07/2008

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

How come they always have the same old sports at the Olympics? Run, jump, play with a ball — you've got to wonder whether the Olympic Committee isn't really a front for some very powerful dogs. Just because they call it "discus" doesn't mean it's not Frisbee.

So where does that leave the rest of us — those who have been working for years on skills the committee has ...

Updated: Thu Aug 07, 2008

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Sexual Politics for Dummies for 08/13/2008

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Maybe a year ago we all would have been shocked by the John Edwards affair. A mistress! A baby! A strange, sexually charged incident in the men's room!

Now it just feels like one of those chapters they add to a textbook so college students can't buy the used edition at half-price.

Doesn't it seem as if we already have learned everything possible about politicians' peccadilloes (em ...

Updated: Wed Aug 13, 2008

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Wanted: Ugly Women for 08/21/2008

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

John Molony, the mayor of Mount Isa, an Australian mining town, put it bluntly: "With five blokes to every girl, may I suggest that beauty-disadvantaged women should proceed to Mount Isa."

For this, he got a goodly portion of Australia (forgive me) hopping mad.

"We're appalled," a councilwoman from Mount Isa told Australia's Courier-Mail.

"It's a pu ...

Updated: Thu Aug 21, 2008

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Fetal Attraction for 08/28/2008

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

"Hollywood's Pregnant!" screamed the headline of the supermarket tabloid. "Who's expecting, who's not, who's desperately trying."

To which at least some of us must add: "Who cares?"

The answer seems to be, "Anyone with $3.99 to his name." How else to explain this summer's Brangelina baby photos fetching a reported $14 million from People mag ...

Updated: Thu Aug 28, 2008

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The Mommy Path to Power: PTA for 09/04/2008

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Men prepare for the world of politics on the ball field, in the boardroom or on a bloodstained battleground far from home, horrors seared on their hearts, souls and sometimes their skin. Women prepare someplace far tougher.

The PTA.

Sarah Palin, the GOP's pick for vice president, is hardly the first mother to join the PTA and suddenly discover the politics in her blood. And someti ...

Updated: Thu Sep 04, 2008

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As New York Eats, So Might You for 09/11/2008

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

"I was at Coney Island, and I almost died!" my friend Ari was saying.

No, he didn't almost drown. He almost considered ordering Nathan's chili cheese fries. Then he saw on the menu board that it was 1,444 calories (for the large) and — Aieeee!

That's what is happening all over New York City these days, where local law now requires all restaurants with 15 ...

Updated: Thu Sep 11, 2008

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Fun With Wall Street for 09/18/2008

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Investors, perhaps you are worried. Perhaps you are ready to yank all your money out of the market and stuff it in your mattress — except that you were thinking of selling your mattress on eBay.

Don't. I just checked. There are 5,796 there already, and you're going to want that mattress when you're curled up in a ball, moaning something about Jim Cramer.

Anyway, the good new ...

Updated: Thu Sep 18, 2008

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4 Debates and a Seal, Ork Ork for 09/23/2008

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

After a week of negotiations so intense that sometimes the sandwich platter arrived and people didn't even noticed that they'd better grab the roast beef because the rest were vegetable hoagies, John McCain and Barack Obama and their running mates have agreed on the format of the four debates to come — three for the presidential contenders and one between the Republican vice presidential ...

Updated: Tue Sep 23, 2008

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4 Debates and a Seal, Ork Ork for 09/23/2008

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

A Great Depression for Kids for 10/02/2008

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Not that I want this to be a Great Depression. I hope it's not. But if it is, there just might be one group of Americans that really benefits.

Kids.

I see kids emerging from their dens when they get sick of their Xbox games and their parents can't afford any new ones. I see kids dropping out of travel soccer when their parents can't afford the gas and playing a pickup game instead ...

Updated: Thu Oct 02, 2008

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