This doesn't apply to me, since I retired the day I started working; however, for someone like you, who has been laboring, striving, succeeding and achieving, the idea of jumping off the treadmill may be a tad unsettling. In fact, it is the inability to visualize a life without a job that leaves many people completely unprepared for the moment when the Grim Reaper of retirement waltzes into your cubical to announce that it's time to log off — forever.

This lack of planning is one reason why successful workers are such failures at retirement. How else can you explain all the folks who spend their sunset years as bitter old codgers, occupying park benches and bar stools from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., complaining about the "good old days" — when a day's pay bought a day's work, and there were no wiseacre, know-it-all kids to tell you how to do your job. (Of course, there were wiseacre know-it-all kids, but there was a difference — those kids were you.)

Fortunately for everyone approaching the retirement zone, Sarah E. Needleman has come to your rescue with her "90 Days" column in The Wall Street Journal. Interviewing many workplace experts, who — surprisingly — did not include me, Needleman reports that a successful retirement requires an exit strategy. And no, she isn't referring to your habit of sneaking out the fire exit at 3 p.m.

As you'd expect, the American Association of Retired Persons, AARP, is ready to chime in. CEO Tom Nelson insists that retired people "really want to have a sense of meaning and purpose." I'm not sure that is true; most of us have been working all our adult lives without any meaning and purpose. But who am I to deny you the opportunity to prepare for the day when you can respond to the alarm clock by meaningfully and purposefully rolling over and going back to sleep.

Here are the recommended steps to a successful retirement:

— Create a health care fund.

You'll want to put money aside if you're concerned about making it to Medicare. Two or 3 million should cover it, assuming you buy generic and purchase a do-it-yourself acupuncture kit.

Drew Denning, a honcho at Principal Financial Group, suggests you go for a physical before your current health-insurance plan expires. This way, you'll learn if you are in a high-risk category that insurers routinely avoid as they follow their sensible plan of providing insurance only to those who do not need it.

— Develop a long-term budget.

Hate to break it to you, but one of the nasty, hidden facts about retirement is that you don't get a paycheck. This seems unfair, considering how little work you did when you were actually on the job. Your budget should include the new expenses that are likely to occur during your retirement years, such as the cost of purchasing pens, paper clips, computer terminals and office furniture — now that you'll have to buy these items instead of pilfering them. You'll also no longer have an expense account, meaning those lavish lunches at the Kit Kat Klub will be on your tab. Now that you won't be scrounging the leftovers of important meetings, remember to budget an addition few hundred dollars per month for donuts.

— Join your alumni network.

Bad news: You will now have to start courting all those obnoxious co-workers who you successfully avoided at the office. These contacts "can expose you to volunteer or consulting opportunities," according to David Smith of Accenture Ltd. Or, if you prefer to supplement your income without actually working, ex-office mates can be a wonderful resource for your blackmailing efforts. Those furtive cell-phone photos you took at the summer picnic could provide a handy income stream in your dotage.

— Plan ways to stay active.

Do volunteer work, take up a hobby, enroll in classes or pursue a part-time job, advises AARP's Nelson. "You really want to have a sense of meaning and purpose."

Perhaps, but if you're going to run around like a crazy person, you might as well fill your time by going back to work. No one paid attention to you when you were employed; therefore, it's unlikely they'll notice you now. And since you have nothing to lose, you may even become the upbeat, committed contributor management always wanted. Be careful you don't get promoted; that kind of success could take all the fun out of retirement.

Correction: Quotations attributed to Kimberly Bishop, Vice Chairman of Slayton Search Partners/Boardroom Consultants, in the "Work Daze" August 21 column, were, in fact, the words of her public relations representative, describing in a press release the subjects and opinions Ms. Bishop might make when interviewed. The columnist regrets the misappropriation.

Bob Goldman has been an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@funnybusiness.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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