Dear Mr. Berko: I have a new broker and I don't know him well enough to follow his advice. He has advised me to purchase three no-load funds (Fidelity Convertible, Wasatch Small Cap and Mairs & Power Balanced fund). He said he would purchase each for me without a commission. I also wanted to buy 2,000 shares of Sirius Radio and 600 shares of XM Satellite Radio because I think the merger between the two should be very beneficial. He strongly disagrees, even though his firm recommends them, because he doubts the merger will happen and if it does happen he believes that the new company will continue to do poorly. He believes that satellite advertisers are fly-by-night companies, sell low quality products and pay less for airtime than traditional radio and therefore the satellite companies are not profitable. Please give me your opinion on the no-load funds and the satellite radio stocks. — P.R.: Mt. Clemens, Mich.

Dear P.R.: I really like your new broker. I urge you to follow his advice because it certainly sounds like his recommendations are in your best interest. This is an adviser you can keep for the rest of your life providing his firm does not corrupt his counsel.

Sirius Radio (SIRI-$2.89) and Satellite Radio (XMSR-$10.91) have been trying to tie the knot for nearly 18 months. The shareholders are in favor of the marriage, the accountants have given their approval and the lawyers — bless their warm hearts — are in agreement.

However, in the past 18 months trillions of dollars in mergers and acquisitions have been consummated by publicly traded companies. But this piddling, multibillion-dollar inosculation must be approved by members of Congress who are still higgeling, niggeling and piggeling over millions of dollars of personal kickbacks to their tax-free political action committees, which they keep as personal retirement accounts. It has been said that the United States has the best legislatures that money can buy.

But the jumbo bone of contention is the National Association of Broadcasters, a powerful trade association of 15,307 local radio and TV stations. The NAB contends that a merger of SIRI and XMSR would be anticompetitive and diminish the advertising revenues of its individual members. And the NAB is a formidable lobbying organization that is successfully spreading its bountiful lucre among eager members of Congress.

. The merger, which I doubt will occur, would create a parent company with nearly $2 billion in advertising revenues and a combined 2007 loss of nearly the same number. However, knowledgeable observers suggest that because operating costs are so high, and management is so bad that these companies would fail as a single entity.

What the NAB fails to understand is the difference between the quality and public acceptance of satellite commercials vs. the quality and acceptance of commercials on their terrestrial stations. Your broker is right as a rainbow about satellite commercials. Satellite attracts "gutter" advertisers that pay very low rates and broadcast 52 percent of airtime vs. an average of 42 percent of airtime and higher rates on conventional stations.

Most satellite advertisers peddle products and services with claims that are so bodacious, so stuffed with corrupt and misleading and corny exaggerations and so baroque that the commercials are often more entertaining than the programming. Many satellite listeners have shared their complaints with me and some are really sad stories.

In six years, neither XMSR nor SIRI has been able to earn a pfennig. A merger between the two would have the same effect as putting two viruses on a Petri dish, each continuing to reinfect the other. I don't see a clear growth to profitability. I suspect that the terrestrial competition, the success of iPod and iPhone, other wireless devices, the collapse of auto sales and a recession that will become much worse might smother the growth of satellite.

Meanwhile, I really like those three no-load funds your good broker has recommended. Wasatch Small Cap Value (WMCVX-$3.21) is a dandy no-load, small-cap blend fund. It has a higher expense ratio than its brethren (1.69 percent vs. 1.41 percent) but its excellent performance is certainly worth the extra 28 basis points. Fidelity Convertible (FCVSX-$26.25) also a no-load, has long been one of my favorite no-load funds. Is 20-year record is easily among the best among the 6,000 publicly traded funds. Finally, the no-load Mairs & Power Balanced Fund (MAPOX-$58.11) recommendation really butters my toast. This fine hybrid fund has a 20-year, 10.4 percent average annual return.

I urge you to follow your new broker's guidance.

Please address your financial questions to Malcolm Berko, P.O. Box 1416, Boca Raton, FL 33429 or e-mail him at malber@comcast.net. To find out more about Malcolm Berko and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

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