Dear Mr. Berko: I have more than $1 million in Wachovia Bank. The lady there told me that if I were to open 10 accounts, each with a different account number, that my money would be 100 percent insured. A man at Bank of America told me that my maximum insurance at his bank is $300,000, which is $100,000 in my name, $100,000 in my wife's name and $100,000 in a joint name. A teller at Fifth Third Bancorp said that my maximum insurance is only $500,000, $100,000 in my name, $100,000 in my wife's name and $100,000 for my name and my wife's name with each of our three children as beneficiaries. So I asked my lawyer, who said he would have to draw up three living trusts to insure the $100,000 with each of our children. I'm confused because I can't seem to get the same answer from four professionals to one simple question. Is there any way you can help me? - K.C. Gainesville, Fla.

Dear KC: I'm not disappointed with the answer given to you by the three bank tellers. Bank tellers are basically human cash registers with voices and a smile. They take your deposit, register the sum in your account and then say, "Thank you," usually with a smile. Though some are paid to suggest a visit with the bank's broker who will sell you an annuity that you'll later wish you never bought.

Sometimes you can get the name of a good restaurant, a suitable dry cleaner or an honest auto mechanic from your teller. But asking a bank teller about account insurance from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. makes as much sense as asking a chiropractor how to improve the gas mileage on a Sherman tank. In this instance, asking a teller about FDIC insurance could be fatal to your financial health.

I'm not even disappointed in the answer given to you by that shyster attorney. While he's correct, a trust for each of your three children will cover them with FDIC insurance, he's either dumber than a toadstool or a disingenuous, mendacious and forked-tongued crook.

You can easily insure $1 million or more at a single bank if you visit www.fdic.gov and follow its bouncing ball. You should know that there is an account called "payable on death," or POD. This is a common form of revocable trust that is part of Wachovia Bank's signature card. It states that the account will be payable to one or more beneficiaries upon your death. You create this informal trust when you sign the bank's account form.

In your case you would own four accounts:

1. George POD to Georgette, which would be insured for $100,000.

2. Georgette POD to George, which would be insured for $100,000.

3. George & Georgette, a joint account with rights of survivorship that would be insured for $200,000. (Joint accounts have two owners and each owner is insured for $100,000, so you can insure a $200,000 certificate of deposit in a single CD.)

4. Finally, an account titled George & Georgette POD to your three children. That CD account would be insured for $600,000. ($100,000 for George for each child and $100,000 for Georgette for each child.)

So, poof! You've got that $1 million covered by FDIC. And if you happen to own an independent retirement account with a CD, it would be insured for up to $250,000. And if your spouse has an IRA, it too would be covered by FDIC insurance for $250,000.

If Wachovia bank goes toes-up and is absorbed by another bank — you would have a better chance of having a dry martini at the Ritz Carlton in Paris with Osama Bin Laden — there would be no signature cards, account forms or paperwork to complete. However, the FDIC might restrict access to your money for a few days, but ATM withdrawals should continue to be available.

Your loan terms would remain the same and would be based upon the contract you signed with the failed bank. So continue making those home-equity payments or other loan payments on time and to the same address.

Meanwhile, the FDIC would continue to honor interest rates on your CDs until they mature. However, the FDIC can stop paying interest on brokered CDs, which are not traditional CDs and have higher rates. And, if you have home-equity lines of credit, those would be frozen until the FDIC had had time to review each account.

Please address your financial questions to Malcolm Berko, P.O. Box 1416, Boca Raton, FL 33429 or e-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Malcolm Berko and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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