Dear Ann Landers: I am the eldest of five children. We recently celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. This should have been a joyous occasion, but it was not. We all know that our father has been having an affair for the past 20 years with a woman young enough to be his daughter.

Dad spends most of his time at the other woman's house and leaves Mother alone on weekends. Last January, he missed his grandchild's birthday to be with this woman. Mother has known about the affair for several years and apparently is content to live like this. She has made it clear she never will divorce him.

When we first confronted Father about the other woman, he said, "We are just good friends, and furthermore, it is none of your business." Well, Ann, we feel it IS our business because it affects our family relationships and is putting an emotional strain on all of us. What do you suggest we do about this disgraceful situation? Should we tell him off or what? — Sick About It in Minnesota

Dear Minnesota: It sounds as if you already have registered your complaint, but it has made no difference. Your father has no intention of ending the relationship. You can refuse all invitations that include the other woman and let your father know she is not welcome in your home. Please do not discuss the situation with your mother. She probably has enough pain as it is. I don't know what kind of relationship your parents have now, but I hope you will include your mother in your lives whenever you can. She needs your love and your presence.

Dear Ann Landers: I am a military wife stationed in Greece with my husband and two children. I feel isolated because there are few American families here, and I do not speak Greek. I home-school my kids because there is no English-language school in the area.

It has been five months, and I still can't get over the culture shock. I spend my days cooped up with my kids, unable to do the simplest things. I can't seem to live up to my husband's expectations, and he has become quite critical. This is hurting our marriage. Please help me before I go crazy. — Anonymous Sufferer

Dear Sufferer: Instead of staying cooped up with your kids, take them into town so they can experience the wonders of Greek culture. It would be a shame not to enjoy the benefits of your time in that great country (at the government's expense).

Buy a Greek-language book, and learn a few phrases. Visit a local bakery or two, and ask for recipes and guidance on how to make Greek pastries (baklava is my favorite). This would be a fine start in learning how to communicate in Greek. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and get moving.

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ANN LANDERS (R)

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