Dear Ann Landers: My boss recently hired a woman for the position of office manager. "Sue" was a social acquaintance of his who did not like her job as a receptionist for a large business across town, so he hired her at an enticing salary and made her office manager.

I have been employed here for 10 years and always felt I could tell my boss anything in confidence. Last week, Sue conducted a staff meeting, and the boss was not present. The next day, he asked me how the meeting went and asked for details. I had a few complaints about Sue, which I jotted down and gave to him. I marked the note "confidential." Later that day, he mentioned that my points were valid and that he would address them.

Ann, I meant that note for his eyes only. To my astonishment, he showed the note to Sue and asked her what she thought. Now Sue no longer acknowledges my presence. I am a traitor in her eyes. My trust in my boss has been shattered completely. I feel betrayed. All my co-workers know about this, and I'm afraid they never will trust me again.

Should I turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to everything that has happened and stay here? Or should I throw in the towel and seek employment elsewhere? — No Name, No City

Dear N.N.N.C.: Your boss's behavior was reprehensible. He had no business showing your note to Sue. This was a blatant violation of trust. The waters have been muddied now, my dear, and I don't see any way to cleanse them. My advice is to look for another job immediately and take the best offer.

Dear Ann Landers: I have been involved in a passionate, wonderful relationship for the past two years. The problem? The man I am in love with happens to be my sister's ex-husband.

We have kept this relationship a secret so far, but now we want to tell our families. My sister has been divorced from "Austin" for five years. Unfortunately, Austin's parents cannot stand his ex-wife and want nothing to do with any member of our family. I am afraid that once his folks find out about me, they will force him to end our relationship. If he doesn't end it, he might risk losing his entire family.

I am not sure what to do. Austin is a great guy, and I love him, but sometimes I think it would be better to move on and try for a relationship that is less complicated. I am so stressed out that I can't think straight. Can you help me? — Baton Rouge, La.

Dear Baton Rouge: A lot depends on how strong the relationship is between you and Austin. Will it endure the clobbering you might get when his family finds out you are the sister of his ex-wife? Only time will tell. Meanwhile, bide your time, and make sure Austin is equal to the challenge if you are.

Planning a wedding? What's right? What's wrong? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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