Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I are raising four beautiful children. Our oldest daughter, age 15, has admitted to us that she has been drinking alcohol at parties on weekends. She says she never gets drunk but always has one drink because "everyone else is doing it" and she doesn't want to look "square."
My husband and I never drink. Alcohol is not served in our home. Our daughter is an honor student and never has caused us any trouble. She says we should appreciate her honesty and not be angry with her. How should we handle this? — Beside Ourselves in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
Dear Fort Lauderdale: Applaud your 15-year-old daughter's honesty, and let her know you appreciate it. Then make it clear that she should not be drinking alcohol and neither should her friends. Does she have a curfew? What are the ground rules? Do you know the kids she parties with? This is a must. Do you know their parents? You should encourage parties in your home and in the homes of others you trust. Tell your daughter her openness is admirable but no more alcohol.
Dear Ann Landers: Two years ago, my husband and I visited my in-laws for Thanksgiving. They have a 300-pound Saint Bernard. I asked them nicely to put the dog in the yard while my 2-year-old son, "Tommy," was in their house. We only would be there for two hours, and it was a nice day. They assured me it was no problem.
The next thing I knew, the dog was loose and pouncing on my son. Although he wasn't bitten, Tommy was horribly frightened and had scratches all over his face and neck.
Our son had to be taken to the hospital to have the cuts treated, not to mention removing the saliva that was in his mouth and eyes. The doctors advised us never to let our son get near that dog again. When I told my in-laws what the doctor said, they insisted we were overreacting.
We have not spoken to my in-laws since — and apparently, they don't care. I feel sorry for my husband because this is his family, but he insists it doesn't bother him. He is still in touch with one brother, but his other siblings won't speak to him because of the situation with his parents. It is obvious that my in-laws chose their dog over their son. For my husband's sake, is there anything I can do to fix this? — Protective in the Carolinas
Dear Carolinas: Encourage your husband to visit his parents alone. As time goes by, you'll be glad you did. The grandparents' "curiosity" about how the child would react to seeing such a large dog suggests they may be bordering on senility.
"A Collection of My Favorite Gems of the Day" is the perfect little gift for that special someone who is impossible to buy for. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Collection, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
ANN LANDERS (R)
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