DEAR SUSAN: You're so right about how frustrating it is to prepare for a date. People stress out over it, and then it goes nowhere. When the investment of time, money and energy doesn't produce the results we hope for, we often consider it "wasted." But when we plant a garden, birds get some, and others never sprout. Are the seeds that don't turn into mature plants "wasted"? No, because their presence helps healthier ones survive.

The more invested we are in an effo ...

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